The communication barrier

It is very easy to find it difficult to resolve the differences through talking in intercultural marriages because whatever is being said is lost in translation. This is especially true if the two of you are using what I would call a bridging language. A bridging language in this case is not the mother tongue of either of you.

You may for instance be using English to communicate since you are German and your partner is Swedish, or you could be speaking one the African indigenous languages and your partner is from Bulgaria. You start off the relationship speaking in English. Eventually, one of you may learn the language of the other but there is always something lacking in terms of understanding the subtleties and nuances that I have written in the article, unlock communication nuances: 4 gains and losses.

I had written that you need to communicate with each other. One of the barriers of successfully communicating with each other in marriage is that the communication can be lost in translation. This hinders communication and growth in your relationship. If not dealt with, it may lead to you constantly fighting each other. This breeds tension that makes your marriage an unhappy union.

In this article I will be looking at how communication is lost in translation and how you can overcome this barrier to communication in intercultural marriages. Knowing how it comes about helps us to come up with appropriate solutions. I also give real life examples to emphasise and clarify the point, as well as to make the solutions practical and applicable in daily life. My hope is that this builds confidence in you that what is lost in translation can be worked on for the betterment of your relationship.

How is communication lost in translation?

My understanding of lost in translation is that it is a failure to convey the true intentions or meaning of the original words when translated into a different language. Webster dictionary defines this idiom as follows: to fail to have the same meaning or effectiveness when it is translated into another language. How then does the conversation get lost in translation? This is an important question in establishing how we can navigate through the problem. Here are some of my reasonings as to how the conversation can be lost in translation:

1. Language barrier is partly responsible for a conversation getting lost in translation. As I pointed out early in this article, we are bound to misunderstand each other because we are not fluent in the language. The lack of fluency can be seen in situations where one does a direct translation where it is not needed. Also, the two people speaking two different native languages contributes to this loss in translation.
2. Non-verbal communication plays a role as well because one is not able to understand the subtlety of things such as eye contact, gestures, and body language. It is easy to misread the message that one is transmitting through non-verbal cues.
3. Values and norms of a culture influence how one expresses themselves as well as how to interpret what others are communicating. For instance, the values of one culture may prohibit cohabiting, whereas another culture may not think of it as being a big deal. The problem may arise when one of the two people in a relationship wants to move in together. The reluctance of one who has grown up with the value of no cohabiting may be seen to not be committed to the relationship.
4. Your family and societal expectations regarding what role you should play in the marriage, how involved the family is to be as well as your obligation to the whole society, is another contributor to communication being lost in translation.

How to overcome the barrier

The question that now begs an answer is how you can be able to navigate these challenges so that what you want to communicate is what is received. I will now give you some of my suggestions that I believe would be helpful in dealing with the problem.

1. Learn the language: invest some time in learning the language of your partner. This should be both of you learning each other’s language. Having the basics of the language should be enough. I know this might sound contradictory to what I have said above when talking about language barrier. And I wouldn’t blame you for thinking in like manner. Learning the basics of another language is by no means going to make you avoid the loss in translation. What it does, however, is to give you some room to deal with some of the problems. Words being lost in translation in this case has to do with direct translation of what one wants to say. It becomes difficult explaining or expressing some things due to direct translations that usually don’t accurately relay what you want to say. An example I would give is one where someone says, “maybe you would want to clean the house.” The person is asking you to clean the house. This is not a suggestion or statement but a request, and a polite request for that matter. That’s a correct way of asking in their language but it is a direct translation into English. And it may equally not be on the mind of the person being asked to clean the house.The correct way to ask would be “can you please help clean the house?” Your partner asks in that manner because their translation from their language to English is direct and literal. This results in not delivering the intended message. This can be avoided by learning the language at a basic level. By basic level I don’t mean basic phrases. I mean one where you can converse intelligibly in that language, but it may not be sufficient for university studies.
2. Cultural awareness: educate yourself concerning the culture of your partner. Endeavor to understand the values and norms of your partner’s culture. This may reduce the misunderstandings in communication. I have already written on some aspects of cultural awareness in my article, the importance of cultural perspective in marriage. 
3. Clarify the differences: create an environment where both of you will be comfortable enough with each other to openly ask for clarification when there’s some misunderstanding. I would like to think that understanding the context may equally be applicable in this instance.
4. Practice patience: when you are patient with your partner you assume that they have good intentions in their communication. It will allow you to not quickly jump to conclusions. You may jump to conclusions, but you will equally give them a chance to be heard and clarify their position.
5. Seek professional help: engage a therapist who specialises in intercultural marriage. A systemic therapist would also be beneficial. This is just my advice. Other modalities can perhaps work for you. Find what works for you. It must only be professional help. Do you need help? Send me an email to further know how I could be of help. My systemic therapy approach will give you an opportunity to work on the relationship dynamics and employ interventions that are applicable to intercultural marriage such as reflective listening exercises, role playing and narrative approach.

Conclusion

Being lost in translation doesn’t mean that you should lose your hope of rectifying the problem. This is an area of communication that can be improved. As much as this barrier offers intercultural marriages a formidable communication challenge, it also offers you an opportunity for personal and relational growth. Proactively tackle this challenge to build a strong and resilient relationships. As I have already alluded to in this article, education, patience, and a willingness to seek professional help are foundational in this endeavour. Systemic therapy, with its holistic and relational focus, provides valuable tools for navigating the complexities of intercultural communication, helping couples not only survive but thrive in their unique journeys together.

Refrences

Liraz Postan: https://www.getblend.com/blog/literal-translation

Merriam Webster Dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lose%20%28something%29%20in%20translation